It is true that nothing changes until you change, until you change the way you think, they way to do things, until you take action, nothing will change.
All our dreams, hopes, goals and desires will only materialise once we make our move, until then, they are just nice pictures in our heads, or just list of things in our journals.
So today, i resolve to taking action, to making things (my dreams) happen, because i know that i won't get anything/or get anywhere withOUT somekind of effort on my part.
''I am the one, i have been waiting for.''
Monday, July 1, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
do baby steps count for something?
I stop; i am breathing heavily, almost out of breath, i try to take one more step, but it seems I’m fixed to the ground, i keep reminding myself to ‘‘breathe in and out''. In the background about 11 women are running effortlessly, going for their 9 lap and here i am on 'my way' to finish my fifth. I start walking, and then i hear the whistle, the lifesaving whistle, my dear friend whistle and it is the best sound ever, since i joined boot camp that is, it is a signal that we are done for the day. PHEW.
We then assemble to do some very painful stretches, followed by a loud 'whooo haaa' and then we say 'cheers' aka goodbyes and then leave.
16:30 On my way home i ask myself questions about why i felt in necessary to put myself through soo much pain and suffering and humiliation, who am i trying to fool thinking i can do boot camp while i failed at doing gym.
‘i am not doing soo bad, am i? – Reply: ‘you are, you are slowing everyone down’
‘If all those people can do it, then i can, can't I’ reply: ‘but they are more fit than you’
‘but i want a loose weight, I know I can do it’ reply ‘hahaha story of your life’
As i turned at the robot, i felt a torando of emotions rishing up....ooh why is this soo emotional for me?
16:55 I get home, i take a bath, i don't feel like cooking, i boil an egg and gem squash, i recheck my eating plan if there is no ice cream or double cream yoghurt in there somewhere...all i see is low fat what what eveywhere...sign
17:40 I eat and then watch a little bit of TV, before i go to bed. I close my eyes to pray, i don't know what to say, I don’t have a gratitude list today. I then say ''Dear father can i please wake up a size 32 or 34 atleast, please God, ohh please''
We then assemble to do some very painful stretches, followed by a loud 'whooo haaa' and then we say 'cheers' aka goodbyes and then leave.
16:30 On my way home i ask myself questions about why i felt in necessary to put myself through soo much pain and suffering and humiliation, who am i trying to fool thinking i can do boot camp while i failed at doing gym.
‘i am not doing soo bad, am i? – Reply: ‘you are, you are slowing everyone down’
‘If all those people can do it, then i can, can't I’ reply: ‘but they are more fit than you’
‘but i want a loose weight, I know I can do it’ reply ‘hahaha story of your life’
As i turned at the robot, i felt a torando of emotions rishing up....ooh why is this soo emotional for me?
16:55 I get home, i take a bath, i don't feel like cooking, i boil an egg and gem squash, i recheck my eating plan if there is no ice cream or double cream yoghurt in there somewhere...all i see is low fat what what eveywhere...sign
17:40 I eat and then watch a little bit of TV, before i go to bed. I close my eyes to pray, i don't know what to say, I don’t have a gratitude list today. I then say ''Dear father can i please wake up a size 32 or 34 atleast, please God, ohh please''
Monday, April 8, 2013
JUst here..for now
I wonder sometimes, what the point of life is?
are we just here to be born
raised
to be schooled
and to work and buy things?
to build things and then die
and live it all behind?
are we just here to exist?
to be young, then old and then dissapear.
I do wonder...
if there really is a bigger plan for humans than just to be here
for a moment, a few days, a few years
somebody please tell me that we are not just here to make more of ourselves
to avoid human extinction
to re-produce so that we continue the cycle?
Are we just here for each other
to keep each other company?
to make others laugh, sad, and then make them cry.
I wonder why we come at all...to this place
just for a short while, and then leave
sometimes even before we start living.
Death be not proud!!
In memory of our cousin, Khomotso Monama, a beautiful soul, gone too soon. RIP
are we just here to be born
raised
to be schooled
and to work and buy things?
to build things and then die
and live it all behind?
are we just here to exist?
to be young, then old and then dissapear.
I do wonder...
if there really is a bigger plan for humans than just to be here
for a moment, a few days, a few years
somebody please tell me that we are not just here to make more of ourselves
to avoid human extinction
to re-produce so that we continue the cycle?
Are we just here for each other
to keep each other company?
to make others laugh, sad, and then make them cry.
I wonder why we come at all...to this place
just for a short while, and then leave
sometimes even before we start living.
Death be not proud!!
In memory of our cousin, Khomotso Monama, a beautiful soul, gone too soon. RIP
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