I stop; i am breathing heavily, almost out of breath, i try to take one more step, but it seems I’m fixed to the ground, i keep reminding myself to ‘‘breathe in and out''. In the background about 11 women are running effortlessly, going for their 9 lap and here i am on 'my way' to finish my fifth. I start walking, and then i hear the whistle, the lifesaving whistle, my dear friend whistle and it is the best sound ever, since i joined boot camp that is, it is a signal that we are done for the day. PHEW.
We then assemble to do some very painful stretches, followed by a loud 'whooo haaa' and then we say 'cheers' aka goodbyes and then leave.
16:30 On my way home i ask myself questions about why i felt in necessary to put myself through soo much pain and suffering and humiliation, who am i trying to fool thinking i can do boot camp while i failed at doing gym.
‘i am not doing soo bad, am i? – Reply: ‘you are, you are slowing everyone down’
‘If all those people can do it, then i can, can't I’ reply: ‘but they are more fit than you’
‘but i want a loose weight, I know I can do it’ reply ‘hahaha story of your life’
As i turned at the robot, i felt a torando of emotions rishing up....ooh why is this soo emotional for me?
16:55 I get home, i take a bath, i don't feel like cooking, i boil an egg and gem squash, i recheck my eating plan if there is no ice cream or double cream yoghurt in there somewhere...all i see is low fat what what eveywhere...sign
17:40 I eat and then watch a little bit of TV, before i go to bed. I close my eyes to pray, i don't know what to say, I don’t have a gratitude list today. I then say ''Dear father can i please wake up a size 32 or 34 atleast, please God, ohh please''
