Inspired , Motivated and Involved

A woman that Inspires me........coming soon... :)

This writting is inspired by a friend of mine ….who thinks and believes that she is all alone in the big bad world , how wrong she is….

When the emptiness builds up
When fear sets in
Don’t be in doubt
You are not alone

Don’t let you thoughts deceive u
Into thinking you are an island
Cause I’m just a call away

When all else fails
When things seems to fall apart
Don’t give up..

Don’t let the wrong voice tell you
That no one cares for you
That no one loves you
Look up with hope
Cause God is always a prayer away

In those odd hours of the night
When no one else is online
Just remember that
I’m just a poke away

When you feel lonely in crowds
In those weird moments
Look around you for signs of comfort
The birds and the bees, the flowers and butterflies
You are not alone
And you NEVER are

God! what am i learning?

They say it is in our darkest moments that we learn, they say it is when it hurts the most that we know we are learning , Maya Angelou even said 'In the valleys we learn' , that is why i woke up this morning and asked God, what is my lesson? and Why am i failing to see my lesson?

40 Days to go!!

Only 40 days to go before the 2009 National elections, with no doubt this is going to be a historic event. I think people should go out on this day and vote for whom ever they feel is the best leader in this trying financial times, i think we have past the point where we vote for people out of Loyalty, I for one believe we have come to pass the 'he was at Robin Island fighting for our freedom' kind of Voting, but hey...I’m not a political Analyst.

For the he first time in the history of South Africa we see political parties on TV commercials, weekly Election debate (the ultimate fight Zone) and political party posters with different pictures (some parties have black faces on posters in townships and villages and white pictures in the City...what a joke).

I am not voting these coming elections, I’ve registered, but right now I personally do not see the point. I will however be at the voting stations....selling lollipops and ice cubes, (I need the money...we are in a recession after all,!!).

I believe this year's Elections are just a fight (literally) for power and with no intentions of service, and again that’s my thought, you know what…. I would really love to hear Madiba's thoughts on these elections.

The next 40 Days will sure be even more interesting, with lotsa drama, empty promises and fighting , we are bound to hear more about Elections and what Malema has been up to, I just hope we do not loose the focus on the upcoming 2010 World cup and the current financial crisis. Let’s remember there is still life after the power battle, We need to think beyond the 22nd of April 2009.

To all the voters; all the best…make your best choice!!!

I am l'oosing' it!!

A few months ago, my niece ( who is only 6) made comment about my weight , that made me laugh, but it also made me think more about the ;issue'.She said i needed to join ' The Biggest Looser' ( Weight loss TV Show) my sister and i went quite for a while then we burst out laughing.

I've since lost a most of my 'preggie' weight , but the truth is i still need to loose more. I am not about to join a weight loss show but i’ve been on a diet for the past months, I’ve cut down on takeaways and I drink lots of water, I’ve also tried different eating plans and it was a real adventure.On some days I’ll have ham for supper, yes Ham and just Ham.

I’ve lost 2 cm around the waist and 7 kg since I started weighing myself and that was on week 2 of the diet. I’m still far from archiving my goal but I gave myself a round of applause this morning when I got off the scale.

I feel great, I am ‘loosing’ it….and I’m lovin it!!

I am fine...really!!

I am happy to report to you, my dear friends that I am really fine , I wake up everyday and I count my blessings and that has helped lift my spirit. I have so much to be grateful for.

I refuse to go around sulking….I trust that the Lord will continue strengthening me and blessing me.

Amen.

Goodbye

‘’ People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead’’ Pastor T.D Jakes

I thought I got it all figured out, I never needed to worry about dating again…lol...i thought , I have a man , we are happy , we are in love and we planning a future together , we have nothing to worry about….right?

The Denial

Don’t get me wrong I did not expect that our relationship would be without problems, but I thought …what ever it is WE can overcome it. Well… some of the ‘little’ problems we had build a huge One and I did not even see it coming. I was shocked, I thought it was joke. I told myself we will talk about it; he will then see that he is sooo wrong about me.

‘We?? …there is no WE !”I saw my hopes and dreams crumbling before my eyes; my sand castle had been washed away but the big bad sea.

After all these years, after everything we went through …..how can this be happening, my relationship was a happy one ( most of it), I’ve never felt so loved , so special ever in my life. I tell you I had a best friend and a lover all in one package. What went wrong? Why me? I did nothing wrong! Why does it have to end? Why can’t we talk? Why is he doing this to me? I had a long list of questions with no answers and that frustrated me.

The Pain

There I was sitting on the bed , staring at the picture we took at the Christmas function…nicely framed, I was listening to our favorite song; playing on the dvd player he gave me , I felt the pain creep in…...the tears where coming ….i’m not gonna cry …I said …. I got off the bed and put on his slippers, I stared at my image in the mirror, the mirror his brother made for me ; then I realised I was wearing the top he bought for me on my birthday….how do I accept that it is really over that all these are the remains of a 6 year relationship with a man I STILL love so dearly.

They say everything happens for a reason ,but you know what…… no matter how many reasons there are for this to happen , none of them would have the power to stop my heart from shredding into a million pieces. It was at this point that I broke down and cried, I think I cried for hours, I don’t remember. I woke up the following day at 4:45am still in my clothes…thanks to the alarm clock

The Aha!! moment

I made a phone call to my mom , I cried in her ear , I called a friend and I cried again…and I felt so much better…they made me realise : it is ok to cry , that it is ok to hurt , that is ok to feel lost sometimes.

I read somewhere once that ‘it is better to have love and loose it than not have it at all…’ I don’t feel that all the years are wasted because they are really not.

I look back with a smile for having had a chance to smile a million smiles, and I look forward to the future with a smile... for there is still an opportunity to smile some more, with my beautiful daughter , with my wonderful family and with my dear friends.

My Comforter

Music has its own way of lifting one's spirit.... and for the past few days I’ve have found lots of comfort in music. At first i would have it play on full blast, I liked it loud....loud enough to block my thoughts and that worked for me. One day a song caught my attention....all I could her was a lady screaming 'Comforter' and that is exactly what I needed. I needed someone to hold me, to help me ease my load, someone to mollify me….and the song speaks of a ‘faithful father’ who is THE greatest comforter of all. After listening to the song, Comforter by Cece Winans (many times) I decided to share the lyrics with you, maybe you might find some comfort in it. Enjoy

Verse 1 : Faithful friend and fatherI've called you through the years.You've been great physician when sickness lingered near.Through distressing moments your name is new and sweetYou've become comforter to me.

chorus:You are comforter that's who you are to me.Comforter a name that fits so perfectly.Peace that passes all understandingComforter is who you are to me

verse2:To the grieving family who weeps for loved ones
gone.The pain of separation consumes another home.On the waves of sorrowYou walk with perfect easeComforter is who the whole world needs

Repeat chorus: You are comforter that's who you are to me.Comforter a name that fits so perfectly.Peace that passes all understandingComforter is who you are to me.

Peace giver, Life changerJoy giver, Peace riverWaymaker, Life changerPeace giver, Joy giver