Finding NEMO

A lot has happened since my last post.....a lot of thinking, a lot of walking and alot of praying, I wish I had done a lot of reading as well, but i hope that changes soon.

I had a tonsillectomy a few weeks ago, I’ve recovered very well, and I am grateful that it is all over. It was a very scary experience I must say, but who wouldn’t be scared - doctors where about to fondle my throat with some dangerous utensils, and my 'poor' tonsils where about to be put into a jar, not forgetting that I was in hospital, ohh I loathe hospitals.

But I was armed for the two weeks healing process, I never walk into a situation without ammunition, never. So I had bought pain killers (just in case they didn't give me enough, I was told this was going to be very sore—I was not taking any chances), I even bought drinking straws (just in case I needed them :) ----don’t you laugh) and I had bought lots of soup and ice cream (the best part of this whole thingy-thingy)

While waiting to be wheeled into the operating theatre I had a memory flash: 18 months ago I had waited at the same hospital, same spot with the same hospital smells; it was just before my caesarean (when I got baby Siba)

Before my caesarean: I was ready for what was about to happen, my mom was just outside waiting for me and i had all the support i needed and Themba was sitting right next to me holding my hand, however before my tonsillectomy, I was soo terrified and sadly no one was there to hold my hand, no one was waiting outside for me……….well my family and friends where waiting, but it was just not the same.

Amazingly, this moment did not turn into an ‘ohh poor me’ kinda tale, instead it was the beginning of a self ‘finding’ journey, at that moment i KNEW that if I was to walk out of that hospital 'all fine'….it was up to me, if I was to heal well.....if I was to spend two weeks resting, eating well, and taking my medication on time….. It was all up to ME

I had an appointment with my doctor a week after the operation and he told me that out of the 8 of us who had the operation on that day I was only the one who was out of hospital, he was very amazed with my progress, he said ‘you are strong hey... you are soo brave’.

Honestly I can’t really say that I am brave because I remember on one night, I was tossing and turning, it was 2am and I had had no sleep what-so-ever, I had taken 6 pain killers instead of 2, I could not eat and on that night I almost called the ambulance.

I am, however very confident in saying that I am blessed, I am favoured, I am lucky to have friends and family who phoned me time and again and those who came to visit me.

Now I know that I can walk through any kind of storm and I will come out just fine. I have found my own strength; i have found the warrior in Me.…….