The 'other' side

They say all coins have a flip side, i have learned that all humans have a flip side, that i have a flip side too

We went through a difficult time in my family, when of one my sisters lost her child. It was a sad moment for all of us, made worse by other family issues that have been going on for a while.

In the midst, of it all.....Me, the 'CHILD' challanged the elders, as i felt things where not happening the way they should, from where i was standing, i felt it right for me to voice my concerns, only i did not voice them, i screamed them, I threw a tantrum and half , in simple terms i FLIPPED.

Whether i was right or wrong is immeterial, what still blows my mind is the rage, the fired i had in me at that moment, i was unstoppable, it was a the fierceness that still scare me today. I had enough rage in me to start a war.....I still ask myself, 'where did that come from' - was it instict reaction? over-protectiveness maybe? was it EGO? my way of mourning? was it just me casting bottled up issues in the wrong direction?

I have said to many people, that i saw a side of me that i never knew existed, i knew i was not a 'walk over' or 'push over' or whatever it is they call people who are too defensive, but i did not, not ever think that i was capable if taking other people's challenges/journey/learning curve and i that i could make it my primary mission to ressolve them, to the point that i ended up internalising and personalising a collective family challange and made everything ALL about ME.

I dislike what i became that week, I hope that is not who i become in the future when faced with challanges of that magnitude, i hope and pray for wisdom to discern MY place in every situation, and should i have something to say, May i say it in such a way that i leave no scars.

Goodbye to a Strong woman

My mother's best friend passed on, her passing was such a shock to many as she was a STRONG woman, i think we all expected her to keep going on forever, she was like a mother to me, she raised me and my sister and my cousins and practically the whole community, she was a home-based care giver, a loving woman, full of laughter and did i mention that she was a STRONG woman.

I did not know what to say to my mother, i called everyday before the funeral and each time i was just lost for words, they had a special kind of friendship, it was like they where twins, if my mother was not home, we knew the 1st place to look for her. I remember making tea for them while growing up, how i dreaded making that tea, now i wish i had made them more tea, with bigger smile on my face. But time is thief, it takes from us the ones we cherish most....I will never forget the look on my mother's face at the funeral, i was more sad for her than anything else.

This is the woman that introduced me to Jesus and Christianity, she took me and my sister to church with her and she persuaded my mother for me and my sister to get baptised at the Roman Catholic church, and she 'forced' us to attend sunday school. We used to recite the Rosary with her, and go on church trips together. She came to my high school with my mom for most of my speech contests, she encouraged me to further my studies and would always ask how things are in the big City, now tell me.......where do find people like that?

I will always remember the warmth of her heart and the joy in her laughter.

May her soul REST in peace!!