The diary of a 'mad' chubby woman!!

Ok, let's get one thing very clear, I have the highest self worth, I respect myself and my body and I aspire to be as healthy as possible BUT I am not skinny, I was not born that way and I doubt any miracle will happen that would turn me into Cinderella, Tyra Banks or anything resembling the body of a miss world!! I mean really now!

I am very mad at all the prejudice society puts on chubby people, like we are from some wierd planet. I know most people associate skinny with healthy, which makes sense, but don’t sum up my capabilities, both social and professional based on the size of my curves or my butt for that matter.

It is soo unfortunate that we ‘carry’ our fat with us, in full view of everybody, while pedophiles and thugs are able to hide their true nature, therefore they get no judgment or condemnation, they live free of prying eyes and undermining looks. It makes me soo mad.

I was walking (exercise) with my sister and this man looked and us and said ‘the third one (me)wa forsa’ (basically not fit enough to walk)and he laughed!!I went to him and said ‘you know nothing about me, so just shutup’ , I then went on walking.But I was soo discouraged afterwards and I got soo mad. So...does that mean that I’m not fit enough to be considered healthy, and I’m not fit enough to train?

And then....when I joined a fitness challenge at work and someone said ‘you really must loose weight'.I almost lost it, thank God I didn’t. I did ask though ‘who said i need a man’?, I was a little rude, but can you blame me, really?? I know she probably didn't mean to offend me, but it is such words, that can destroy one's confidence and make you feel 'less-than', like there is something wrong with you.

I am mad for me, and all other women and men who are considered lazy and lacking self love because of their body size or shape.I am more mad and scared for my daughter, the mere of thought of her ‘hating’ herself for being chubby and possibly starving herself to be accepted by society puts me on the brink of real madness.

I do not want my baby gal to ever go on yo-yo diets
I don’t not want her to force a small pair of jeans on herself in the fitting room, Never
I do not want her to get obsessed with the scale...
I do not want her to aspire to be like Barbie doll or anything resembling a stereotype of a perfect body
I don’t want her to deprive herself of chocolate, cream cheese or cake if she fells like it
I want her to know she that is made perfect, that she is fine and worthy, as she is
I want her to be healthy and have a healthy (mental) image of herself

It will not be easy for me to raise her to love her body with all it's imperfections because you and I know that people always try to force their views on others, they look at you and box you, before they even hear your story or even your name for that matter!

In the meantime I remain ‘mad’, chubby and fabulous....as Lebo Mashile would say ‘I am sdudla-fabulous’……………….so deal with it!!